Hold The Cheese.

 I know I’m trying to avoid this whole “nagativity thing”, but I had a breakdown on Friday. 

I don’t know if it’s because I was tired and just mentally drained from work, or if I was just being a little fucking girl, but I lost it. I was in my closet getting ready for work and nothing looked good or was fitting how I wanted it to. On top of that, someone had snapped a picture of me from the weekend before and it was SO unflattering. I just couldn’t help but cry and yell at myself. 

I do this EVERY FUCKING TIME I see results. Like, yay you lost five pounds, eat whatever you want and chug some beer! 

NO. STOP. 

So, that’s it. Maybe I needed a closet breakdown. I’m not really sure. But I’ll tell you one thing, I saved that horrible picture and I’m just done making these excuses for myself. There are 250 pound people who have worked their asses off everyday and now they weigh less than me! All because they’re consistent and honest with themselves. 

Not only and I avoiding shitty food and beer (even though I will have one or two on the weekend), I’ve decided that I need to cut out some other things that are holding me back. If I can quit smoking, I can eat healthy and workout to better myself, like what the hell. 

No fast food. No white carbs. No dairy. No processed food. No glueten. This seems harsh,  but I’m a “quit cold turkey” kind of girl. 

It’s time to get fucking serious, because I swear to god I’m not going to have another summer where I’m the only person wearing jeans or capris instead of shorts! I’m more motivated now than I have been in a very long time. I was mad at myself before, but the fact that I was bawling in my closet really just pushed me over the edge. 

On the plus side – my knee feels SO much better. So, walking and doing some arm weights may soon be paired with squats. (Thank the fucking lord). 

I feel like I’m on day one again, but that’s alright – AT LEAST IM NOT GIVING UP. 

DOWN 5 POUNDS!

I am so excited!!!!! I went from 171 to 166. I know it’s not a lot, but this past moth was INSANE and the fact that I didn’t stress eat or give up is simply amazing. I can see myself thinning out and I’m fucking psyched. 

I’m so proud of myself. I celebrated with a couple tim bits – because fuck yes. 

I can’t wait to combine my new way of eating with walking every morning and see what this next month brings. Also, my knee is finally feeling better! I’m able to bend it and I can slowly squat. Couple more weeks and I should be golden!  

I don’t know if any of you have heard of Flex It Pink, but they do a few 5k/10K runs every year for different causes. This month they’re doing it for a dog rescue organization. I wanted to run, but I think I’m still going to do it, but walk my ass 3.1 miles. Check them out! 

Okay, bye. 

Don’t Tread On Me.

GOOD NEWS! My boyfriend was able to fix our treadmill! So fuck you, Mother Nature, your flooding will not keep my from hitting my goals. Even though my inflamed knee might…

So, since I can’t run or squat, I’m brining said treadmill inside and putting it in my office. I’ll also bring in my hand weights and invest in a kettle bell. I don’t want to be in the garage staring at a weight bench I can’t use because I’ll just get depressed. My poor booty gainz.

I’m going to start waking up early – studies show that you should get whatever it is your dreading that day done and out of the way FIRST THING, so that’s what I’m doing. So, I’ll walk. Walk, walk, walk. It’s better than sitting on my ass. Plus, I always liked working out in the morning because I feel like it always gave me more motivation. Then I can come home, love my dogs, eat, work my side business and sleep.

I think it might also be a nice change having the treadmill inside. That way I don’t have to walk through the snow to get into the gadage – which totally turns me off and crushes my motivation. Now I can just roll out of bed and crawl to my office, lace up my half chewed sneakers (thanks Penny) and get my ass to walking.

Besides starting this whole walking thing, I’m feeling amazing since I’ve been eating better. I can tell I’ve lost s few pounds and I’m so excited to combine exercise and healthy again. Hopefully my knee feels the same way…

Happy Monday, my (few) lovely readers! Kick today in the throat.

GREEN TEA.

I have been MIA lately, and I apologize. Not only to you, but to myself, haha. I love writing,  but lately I’ve been incredibly busy and sometimes I’m not even sure my brain is actually functioning. 

UPDATE: along with the flood hindering my workout routine, I’ve also suffered a knee injury. Pretty sure it’s my meniscus. I DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT. 

Even though this is complete shit news, I’m hoping that wrapping it and taking it easy will result in a quick recovery. (Dancing with the dogs yesterday didn’t help). 

In other news – I’m still eating like a fucking champion. My boyfriend and I have been cooking healthy dinners, I’ve limited myself to 4 beers a week, AND I haven’t had any fast food. I love the fact that grocery shopping now entails grabbing fruit, veggies, and meat. NO shit food. I’ll get glisten free granola and some KIND bars and I’m outta there. 

We even made spaghetti squash last week! I felt like a chef. At first I was like “get that off my plate”, but we added a little sauce, (with mushrooms and turkey burger), along with some cheese and BOOM. Delicious. Who knew veggies could be pasta? Next we wanna try making pizza dough and mashed potatoes with cauliflower, but I’m skeptical. 

Also, green tea is fucking awesome. Don’t waste your money on that shit the Krdashian’s are using – just drink some green tea before a meal or between meals and it helps suppress hunger. Seriously, I’m not lying to you! I made it everyday now and I’m addicted. Not only does it fill me up, but it keeps me regular, if you know what I mean. 

Weigh in is less than a week away and I’m feeling pretty good! Even though I can’t really workout, I’ve been trying to hit my step goal and focus on what I’m eating. 

Happy Friday! 

Obese.

So, I went on a website. Well, I saw someone post that they were having their students figure out their BMI and where they fell on a chart, so I googled “am I overweight” and this website popped up. As if it weren’t real enough that I’ve packed on a few pounds, the site informed me that I am, in fact, obese. 

NOT JUST OVERWEIGHT, BUT OBESE. 

Clearly, I’m not taking this too personally, because I wear size 6 in jeans and a medium in tops, so I’m aware that I’m not actually obese, but it hit me kind of hard. I used to be so in shape and so heathly. God damn college. GOD DAMN BEER. GOD DAMN TACO BELL. 

I think this is just more motivation I needed, though. I took a screen shot of the page so I could look at it whenever I feel like eating an entire package or cheese or half a pan of brownies. With that being said, if you want to check it out the website is called Weight Chart (super clever). 

I’ve also stopped looking at “motivational” pictures on instagram. You’ve got these hot ass girls with abs of steel and sweat glistening off of their tan, firm asses. Sorry, that isn’t motivational, it’s depressing. SO – I found some pictures of myself. Pictures from high school and college when I played softball. I think this it’s much more motivational for me. I was literally so small. I don’t know why I thought I was fat back then…

I looked like this before and I can look like that again. AND I WILL. Keeeeep pushing. 

Taco Bell.

I just realized that I haven’t had a fucking crunch wrap supreme in MONTHS. Like, who am I?? I don’t know whether to be pissed off or impressed. (Insert Anchor Man meme here). 

Seriously though, I have to tell you that I feel so much better now that I’m eating real food instead of shit food. Weekends are still my biggest downfall. I did have beer this weekend and I’ve realized I’ll probably never be able to give it up completely. So, Dry January isn’t happening. 

I deal with idiots all day long at work and on the weekends it just feels right to crack open a delicious Magic Hat. BUT – moderation is key. I’ll have 3 beers instead of 13, and no that’s not an exaggeration. Shit goes down like power windows. 

Also, people always said “eat less” and I’m thinking “yeah like it’s that easy”. Hey, guess what, it is. Just eat less. Cut your serving sizes in half!!! It’s amazing. So I’m focusing on quality not quantity. It’s definitely hard to get used to, but I feel like I’m getting into a groove. 

I have two more weeks before I weigh myself. GOTTA KEEP PUSHING. I feel like only looking at the scale once a month is reall helpful, and I’m hoping to be below that 170 mark when I hop on. I hate that number. By the way, my goal weight is 155. I’m not sure if I ever mentioned that…

Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday! I have so much shit to do…I’m all over the place today and I apologize. 

Just My Luck.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. 

Okay, so, I’ve joked over and over again about how when trying to make healthy life changes everyone, including the universe, fucks with me. Not only do I have temptation all around (I blame grandma mostly) and a shit immune system (fuck this weather), it seems that months nature decided I no longer needed a treadmill or weight bench. 

Yesterday there was terenchal down pour all day, along with melting snow, which resulted in flooding in our little town of Wattsburg. Like, they literally shut down Wattsburg and they weren’t letting anyone in (so I couldn’t even go home after work, but that’s another story). French creek runs through our backyard which means we’re used to seeing a bit of flooding….but when you’re using a boat in town, you know shit just got real. 

So, yes, knee high in our garage, aka my workout area. My treadmill is shot and the weights are floating somewhere on Main Street. It’s still flooded so I can’t really tell what kind of condition the bench is in, but needless to say – I won’t be working out with it anymore. 

I thought Shaun was over exaggerating until he sent me a snap chat of my treadmill and his snow mobile under water, with the sound of splashing in the backroung as more water poured into the garage. THANK GOD it didn’t make it into the house, but since our ductwork is under our house in the crawl space, we have no heat because the vents are flooded. We also have non-working toilets, sinks and showers. 

You can imagine how this is going. 

With that being said, yesterday was an awesome fucking day. Luckily, Shaun’s parents live a few minutes away from us and they have a workout room, so I can get back into the swing of things once we have the garage and vent situation cleaned up. 

Side note – we just bought this house and moved in on November 1st. We knew the owner and so did Shaun’s parents, so even though we needed flood insurance, we were told time and time again that it hadn’t flooded in over 20 years. Well, guess what, we broke that dry spell. PUN INTENDED. 

Oh well though, I got new rubber boots, and not the cute hunter brand boots, I’m a real women and I wear shit kickers from Tractor Supply. Sorry this isn’t really on topic, but I had to share. I’m still sticking to my diet and trying to keep active – just need to work around this and get into a new routine. 

Happy Friday! 

Oh, Grandma.

Why is it that every time I decide to start eating healthy, my grandma decideds she’s going to bake every single fucking thing that I love. “Here’s some apple pie!” “Oh I made cookies!”. GRANDMA STOP! 

She usually gives these to me when I go to visit her on my lunch break. So I started not going to her house as much during the week and substituted my visits with phone calls because I don’t want her to feel bad when I turn down her delicious baked goods. Now she’s bringing it to work or having my aunt (whom I work with) bring it in to me! Like, I can’t EVEN. 

So, today it’s brownies. Came back from lunch and my aunt goes “Grandma made you something!”, and there they were. They’re cut really small and I had one because, brownies. Now I’m staring at the rest of them. GOD DAMN CHICOLATE DEVIL. 

Self. Control. 

I’m so excited to go home and workout. I am so stressed out from work and I literally just want to run until I pass out. I plan on starting a new program as well! It’s a beach body guide. 

So that’s my goal for the next few weeks – do the workouts and get some cardio in. Along with carbs one day a week and NO alcohol this month. No jiggle January, HOLLA. 

Cheat Days.

I have decided that I’m not perfect. I’ve decided that I am okay with waiting a couple of months to see results. And this means that I will dedicate saturdays to carbs (in moderation of course). 

I ate pizza and Chinese food yesterday and let me tell you how fucking amazing it was. After eating great all week, one needs a break. I’m ALLOWED TO EAT CARBS ONE DAY A WEEK and I’m not going to feel guilty about that. 

Even though I did treat myself to some amazingly terrible food yesterday, I didn’t drink any alcohol. I’m so proud of myself and I think I’m going to have a dry January. I think not drinking is going to help me see better results anyway. I stopped once before and I loved it, but summer and holidays make it hard not to throw a few back. 

ANYWAY – lots to do today, including getting my sweat on. Happy Sunday, folks. 

Shirt First, Pants Second.

So I’ve come up with a couple tricks to help keep myself staying positive instead of being negative, since I’ve given that up for the new year, but I have to say that there is one I’m most proud of. Ready? I put my shirt on first and my pants on second. 

You know those movie scenes where a guy has a one night stand and the girl gets up in the morning and she quickly puts her pants on, while walking around the room looking for her designer shirt, and she’s got this awesome flat, muscular stomach? Yeah, well, no. I hop around putting my skinny jeans on and grab my old navy sweater as my muffin top floos over my jeans. (That’s not negativity, that’s just fact). 

SO, I put my cami on, then my shirt, AND THEN I put my jeans on. This way I can avoid the whole muffin top scene. I know it’s there, but I can’t see it, so it actually helps keep me on track – in the sense that I can’t make nesgarive comments about myself. 

Crazy? Maybe. Effective? You bet your sweet ass. 

Also, I need to start making more time to dance. Pull a Meredith and Christina at least twice a week. I did this morning while I waited for my hair straighter to heat up and it really made for a good start to my Friday. 

I am still not feeling well, but I’m doing damn well with my eating, so fuck yeah! I’m going to rest again tonight and get some work done for my side business, then tomorrow I shall hit the treadmill and weights. Besides being sick, I think this week went pretty well!