I know I’m trying to avoid this whole “nagativity thing”, but I had a breakdown on Friday.
I don’t know if it’s because I was tired and just mentally drained from work, or if I was just being a little fucking girl, but I lost it. I was in my closet getting ready for work and nothing looked good or was fitting how I wanted it to. On top of that, someone had snapped a picture of me from the weekend before and it was SO unflattering. I just couldn’t help but cry and yell at myself.
I do this EVERY FUCKING TIME I see results. Like, yay you lost five pounds, eat whatever you want and chug some beer!
So, that’s it. Maybe I needed a closet breakdown. I’m not really sure. But I’ll tell you one thing, I saved that horrible picture and I’m just done making these excuses for myself. There are 250 pound people who have worked their asses off everyday and now they weigh less than me! All because they’re consistent and honest with themselves.
Not only and I avoiding shitty food and beer (even though I will have one or two on the weekend), I’ve decided that I need to cut out some other things that are holding me back. If I can quit smoking, I can eat healthy and workout to better myself, like what the hell.
No fast food. No white carbs. No dairy. No processed food. No glueten. This seems harsh, but I’m a “quit cold turkey” kind of girl.
It’s time to get fucking serious, because I swear to god I’m not going to have another summer where I’m the only person wearing jeans or capris instead of shorts! I’m more motivated now than I have been in a very long time. I was mad at myself before, but the fact that I was bawling in my closet really just pushed me over the edge.
On the plus side – my knee feels SO much better. So, walking and doing some arm weights may soon be paired with squats. (Thank the fucking lord).
I feel like I’m on day one again, but that’s alright – AT LEAST IM NOT GIVING UP.